why men lose interest in relationships!

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It’s hard to imagine a man losing interest in a beautiful woman, right? Aren’t men hardwired to impress a woman they’re attracted to? Maybe but only to a point. Sometimes they “play along” until the date is over and then they avoid her calls like the plague. 

Sometimes they take her to bed and then never call her again. Sometimes a man, especially one with plenty of other options and a lot of self-confidence, will just end a conversation immediately if he feels offended by a woman’s statement. The question is, what are the eight biggest offenders that make men lose interest..

Guys hate drama. Choose your battles; making big deals out of nothing everyday will eventually drive him away.

Being the one in full charge, can turn any man off for so many reasons. He feels like you’re taking his role, which makes him feel useless or less of a man. Although, men love confident women, try not to be bossy. Be smart; make him lead and feel triumphant.

Consenting to anything and everything he says while never sharing your opinion and true feelings, is not a good way to keep him interested either. He doesn’t want to hear words like: “anything” or “as you like” every time he asks for your opinion. Men like intelligent women who are not afraid to speak their mind.

“Where have you been?” “You’re not the same anymore” “Why are you ignoring me!” “Do you like someone else?” And leaving him 50 missed calls when he’s out with the boys are the number one reason why he started to feel like a prisoner, and thus, lose interest.

A man will lose interest in you the moment you stop paying attention to your looks and style. Maybe you’ve been caught up too much in work or with the kids, forgetting to take care of your own self. Remember, he might start looking elsewhere.

Most men are adventurous, and love to take risks; it’s in their genes. So, if you’re over protective and never seem interested in any of his crazy ideas, acting as the overly protective old fashioned grandma, he might think you’re BORING!

Every man needs special treatment. Everyone needs attention in his own unique way. So, if you’re not giving him the attention he’s looking for, or don’t pamper him from time to time occasionally telling him how special he is, he might indeed lose interest. Yes, like a baby, a man needs attention and affection.

If you ask him to do everything for you and can’t depend on yourself in any aspect of life, he will probably run away sooner or later. A man doesn’t want a woman who soars his burden; he wants someone to help him out instead.

If you’re the tomboy type who’s always acting as one of the boys, he will most probably lose interest in you after a while.

 A man is a man after all; he will look for tenderness and decency from time to time. Make sure that he finds the “lady” in you when he looks for her.

Some men realize that they’re not ready for commitment and responsibility when the relationship gets serious. some start to back down as they realize that they’re not ready for such a huge responsibility yet.

Some men are womanizers by nature; one woman will never be enough for them. The idea of having a life time partner with whom they will spend the rest of their lives with, can sound deadly to them. As cruel as it seems, but, he might have lost interest because your time is up with him.

How Often Should You Talk In A Long Distance Relationship?

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Talk about your feelings.Just because your partner is a man, does not necessarily mean that he is not open to talking about his feelings.

 At times, openly talking about it helps strengthen the relationship and produces more positive outlooks because of the closeness that is achieved by doing so Refrain from beating around the bush and state your feelings clearly. 

It is very much appreciated and causes less confusion when everything is out in the open.

Constant reassurance.Another tip is to constantly reassure your boyfriend of your love. This gives him confidence and happiness. 

It is much easier to show assurance in a relationship not divided by distance because you can physically show it but in a long distance relationship, it is more difficult. However, reassurance is still possible in forms of calls, text messages, and video call conferences.

Send handwritten poems.If your boyfriend is into old-fashioned romantic gestures, then you may try sending him personal handwritten poems. 

You can write a short poem every day, compile it, and then send it to him at least twice a month. If you are not much of a writer, then you can still send your boyfriend quoted and handpicked works from famous poets or writers with your own dedication, which will surely be appreciated!

Make sure to meet at least once a year.Despite the phone calls and messages, in every relationship, physical contact is still of primary importance. Make sure to at least meet with your boyfriend once a year or more if possible.

 Whether it be planned or impromptu, quality time spent together with your boyfriend will definitely boost his happiness and lessen the longing that he feels every time you two are apart.

Give individual space.It is possible to be suffocated in a long distance relationship, so make sure that you are not being too clingy. You must give your boyfriend his personal or individual space in order for him to breathe. 

Calls every minute and bombarding of text messages will make anyone feel restricted in any relationship. The need for too much or extreme constant communication may actually break you apart rather than bring you closer.

Support each other in everything.Even if you are miles away from your boyfriend, as a devoted girlfriend, you should never fail in expressing your full support in all his endeavors. Being in a relationship should never hinder one from achieving his or her individual goals, instead, the two people in the relationship must work hard together and support each other in committing their ambitions in life. 

Having a companion who is also your number one fan gives anyone the feeling of happiness and love.

Limit your arguments.It is difficult to repair or fix arguments or petty fights especially if there is a thing we call distance separating the two of you. So, as much as possible you should limit your arguments. It is the time to be a mature person and so if the conflict is not worth arguing about then just let it go.

 Do not let small arguments grow into something bigger later that you can resolve. It is important to resolve your arguments in a fair and healthy way to ensure the happiness meter in the relationship.

Try out your boyfriend’s hobbies.To show your support and also as a way of exploring one’s self-interests, it never hurts to try out the hobbies that your boyfriend likes.

 If he is into video games then maybe you can start researching about the games that he particularly likes or if he is a motorcycle enthusiast then it may be the time for you to start learning how to ride one! Showing your interest is also a way of showing your boyfriend that you care about the things that he loves to do. And also, the next time you see each other, you have a new hobby to do together!

Never run out of conversation starters.Keep the ball rolling! Or in other words, keep the conversation going. Showing enthusiasm in the daily conversations that you engage with your boyfriend helps in boosting the positive vibes. 

Ask him about his day and allow him to talk about himself or his interests, and by showing sincere appreciation and interest in the things that he does, it will be an instant increase of confidence in him.

Communication is the key. In every relationship, whether long distance or not, communication is the key. The communication between two people in a relationship should be balanced. 

Do not spam your boyfriend with messages or calls, trust him and allow him to have his own personal space, and communicate your feelings clearly and immediately. You should never make each other feel as if you both have leashes on.

How To Understand Men: The Survival Guide.

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 They Definitely Have Emotions, As much as people think men are emotionless machines who don’t care about anything, they really do. In some ways, men care more than women.

The difference is, they don’t show it as much. A lot of how they’re feeling is processed internally and that can make things difficult for women.

We think they’re just sitting there without a care in the world while we’re falling apart. However, you have to keep in mind that it might even be harder for men.

They care just as much, if not more, and they can’t show it. That has to be difficult for them.

They Don’t Think With Their Emotions, Unlike women, men aren’t really driven by their emotional side. Their decisions aren’t based on how they feel but rather on logic.

You might think this is complete BS based on the fact that men are rather impulsive when they’re angry, but it’s true.

When making a decision, men as a whole are more likely to take logic into consideration instead of how they feel about something.

So if you’re confused as to why a man would be doing something even if it doesn’t match how he feels, this is why.

They’re Visual Beings, Women tend to be the more emotional-based sex and guys are usually more visual. Meaning: while women prefer emotional stimulation, guys like to look at nice things.

This can make it really confusing when first getting to know a guy.
You might think the way to his heart is through meaningful conversation, and it is, at times, but right off the bat, a guy needs to be visually stimulated.

They Need Affection In Different Ways, But they do still need it. Guys do want affection in relationships. They might not necessarily need you to tell them they’re sexy, though that’s still appreciated.

However, they want to feel affection in different ways than you do.
For men, it’s about fulfilling a need for you. They feel loved and cared for if you need them to do stuff for you.

Which means pretending the pickle jar is too difficult to open can go a long way in making your man feel wanted.

Give him jobs that you could do, but make it seem like you can’t. He’ll feel like he has a purpose in your life this way.

Nagging Will Never Work, You have to provide incentive. It may sound harsh to use a dog as comparison, but it’s true.

They’re the type of “dog” that needs some kind of reward to condition them to do the things you appreciate.

It’s as simple as telling him he looks really sexy doing the dishes. That gives his ego a boost and rewards him in a very specific way.

He’ll associate doing the dishes–a chore you really want him to do–with turning you on: something he really wants to do for you.

Loyalty Is Extremely Valuable, If there’s one way to learn how to understand men, it’s to figure out what’s the most important to them. Usually, it’s loyalty.

Men tend to be driven by their pride. They hold their own value based on how others treat them and if you’re loyal to the end, it means more to them than you know.

Disloyalty, cheating, and betrayal hurt men far more than it even hurts women. So if you put him down or go against him in front of others, it’ll cause major issues that go deeper than you can understand.

Knowing these boundaries, however, can really make a man emotionally attracted to you.

They Usually Mean What They Say, There’s no point in overthinking everything a guy says.

He usually doesn’t mean something complex and ridiculous by telling you he likes your hair parted a different way.

He usually just means he really likes how you parted your hair. This doesn’t mean he didn’t like it before or that he’s trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t truly like it.

Looking into every little thing a guy “secretly” means is pointless. Trust his word.

They Hold Pride In Possessions More Than Qualities, Guys aren’t really all that thrilled if they can play an instrument or are all that talented in a specific field.

They do care, however, about what they can get from having those qualities.

More specifically, men take pride in what they have. And although you’re not his possession exactly, he still sees you as something he has.

Meaning, he’s proud of you. He takes great pride in your accomplishments just as he does his own. Remember that.

Talking Doesn’t Always Help When They’re Upset, Unlike women, men don’t always benefit from talking about their feelings. They actually do better processing things internally when they’re upset or angry.

So instead of forcing him to tell you what’s wrong, accept that he needs some time to sort it out himself.

And if he feels like chatting about it later, he’ll come to you in order to feel happy again.

Sure Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back!

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• This is a no brainer, really. If he’s texting you all the time and you’re supposed to be broken up, he misses you.

• He just wants to see your name pop up on his phone. He wants to talk to you and, chances are, it’s because he wants you back.

• He Likes Your Stuff On Social Media, It’s perfectly fine for people to be liking your posts and pictures but when it’s your ex, that’s usually a sign he wants you back.

• Otherwise, he wouldn’t really pay much attention to what’s going on in your life. But if you get a notification with his name repeatedly, he’s definitely longing for you.

• He Asks Mutual Friends About You A Lot, They’ll just tell you. If you two have the same friend group and spend time with them separately, they’ll mention if he’s been asking about you.

• This is a pretty clear sign your ex wants you back because if the questions are repeated, he’s not just checking in. He misses you.

• He Uploads Unhappy Status Updates, These may not be obviously directed at you, but you might see some sappy posts about not knowing what you had until it’s gone, or something equally cringe-worthy plastered all over his social media.

• It’s a way of guilt tripping you. He’s hoping you’ll see it and feel bad for him because he wants you back.

• He Finds Random Reasons To Text You, Any time he texts you, it’ll be for some reason he searched long and hard for.

•  If he sends you a meme he thought you might like or even to tell you that he wishes your mom a happy birthday, he wants you back.

• If he didn’t, he wouldn’t bother with it. This is his way of hoping you’ll carry the conversation into something deeper.

• He Keeps Finding Stuff You’ve Left At His Place, It’s not so much that he keeps finding it, but, rather, he’s deciding to give it to you even though he found it a long time ago.

• Instead of saving you one trip, he’s hoarding your belongings and lying to you by saying he just found it. Obviously, this is so he can see you more.

• He Tries To Guilt-Trip You, This is a nasty way of showing you he misses you, but it’s still something he’ll do if he wants you back.

• What he’ll do to guilt-trip you is to either tell you how awful his life is without you or completely let himself go, publicly.

• Social media will be littered with his failures and unkempt profile pictures so you can see how much not having you is upsetting his life. It’s all a very lame attempt to make you feel bad enough to get back with him.

• He Brings Up Old, Happy Memories, Whenever you two do end up seeing each other or talking, all he does is bring up the “good times.” Sure, you can discuss things in the past but if it’s every time, your ex wants you back.

• There’s no other reason for him to talk so much about something that’s over.

• He’s Curious About Your Personal Life, And by personal life, I mean love life. He’ll probably try to play it cool and ask about what you’re doing for fun nowadays but we both know he just wants to see if you’re with someone new.

• It’s even more obvious if you say you’re seeing someone and get starts to pout like a spoiled toddler.

Cheap Date Night Ideas!

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1. Go Hiking

Hiking is an amazing date idea for nature lovers. No matter where you live, you must have some great hiking trails in your area where you and your man can get away from the world and just enjoy the fresh air and each other’s company.

2. Go Biking

Another awesome idea for active couples is biking. If you don’t have your own bikes, you can always rent them. Find a good biking route and enjoy a peaceful conversation while you exercise.

3. Try New Foods

Unless you’re an absolute foodie, there must be a food you haven’t tried yet. Whether it’s Mexican, Japanese, Indian, Lebanese or something completely different, organize an exciting dinner that will give you and your man a chance to experiment with food.

4. Go On A Picnic

Picnics are sweet, romantic and cheap, which always makes them a good idea. All you need is nice weather, some snacks, and a blanket, and you’re good to go. This one is also lovely if you want to include kids in your date night plans.

5. Play In The Snow

Remember how much joy snow used to bring you when you were a kid? Wake up your inner child and invite your hubby to play in the snow. Build a snowman, have a snowball fight or have him pull you in a sled.

6. Go To A Sports Game

Want to make your husband happy? Take him to a sports game. Depending on how much you want to spend, you can go to a small local event or splurge on a big game.

7. Act Like Tourists

You don’t have time or money to take a trip somewhere? Never mind, you can still be tourists in your own city and have almost as much fun. Visit a museum, go to a touristy part of your city, take photos and try to see everything from a different point of view.

8. Go To A Flea Market

Although it doesn’t sound very exciting, a date at a flea market can be a blast if you open your mind. You never know what treasure you may stumble upon and you’re bound to have some laughs as you rummage about.

9. Go To A Drive-In

It’s an oldie but goldie. Instead of watching a movie at the same old boring movie theater you always go to, shake things up and watch it from the comfort of your own car. You can even snuggle together beneath a blanket.

10. Visit A Museum

Prefer something a bit more sophisticated than a simple movie? Then set aside an afternoon and go check out your local museum. You can grab a coffee afterward and discuss what you’ve learned.

11. Volunteer Together

If you enjoy helping others, you can now do it together. You can volunteer almost anywhere these days – local soup kitchens, animal shelters, national parks, and so on. Check out what places are available near you and have fun while you’re at it!

12. Play A Sport Together

Playing sports together can actually be very beneficial for your relationship. So, pick a sport and enjoy a friendly game. You can learn some new moves or just have fun on the court. And remember that competition can be very sexy.

13. Go Ice Skating

Ice skating is a classic winter date idea, but many couples never dare to try it. Even if you’re scared, you should give it a try. It’s super fun and romantic, and even falling can be cute when you have your hubby to help you back up.

The Single Most Powerful Way To Make Him Feel Like A Man!

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• Dirty Talking Is The Most Powerful Way To Make Him Feel Like A Man.
  When you initiate dirty talk whether it’s in person or via your phone, you’re sending him the message that says you want to take a wild sexy ride with him.

• When he sees your enthusiasm, he’ll not only feel masculine, he’ll feel like he’s a demigod.

•  Dirty Talking Makes Him Feel Special.Treating your man to some unexpected dirty talking makes him feel like he’s the recipient of some serious sexual attention.

• Since dirty talking is perceived as somewhat naughty and kinky, it shows him that you care about his sexual side, which makes every guy feel valued.

•  Dirty Talking Helps Him Know You’re On The Same, Naughty Page.
  Your man is all about pleasing you in bed. He’s hardwired for that.

• When you talk dirty to him during sex, it helps him see that you’re into it just as much as he is and that you’re having the time of your life.

• Since you’re able to express yourself to him sexually through your moans and other communication you’re leaving no room for playing guessing games.

• He gets to see what you want and fulfill all those naughty acts for you too.

•  Dirty Talking Provides The Encouragement And Validation He Needs As A Man.

• When you launch into a dirty talking frenzy, it confirms that you’re sexually interested in him.

• Dirty Talking Paves More Passionate Lovemaking.
  He needs to know that he’s appreciated, needed, and loved for the man he is

Here are A Great Questions To Ask A Guy!

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• These questions are great to use to eliminate those awkward silences that happen when you hit a bump in the conversation and don’t know what to say or ask next.

• If you’re trapped on a desert island and could only carry 5 items with you, what would they be?

• If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

• What’s your idea of a perfect day?

• Would you rather be smart or happy? Why?

• What foreign language would you like to be fluent in? Why?

• What’s your strangest habit?

• What is the biggest lie you ever told?

• How do you spend your free time?

• Have you ever been arrested? What for?

• What is your dream tattoo?

• What is your worst trait?

• If you could have dinner with any person in history, who would you choose? Why?

• What would you do in a zombie apocalypse situation?

• Who inspires you the most and why?

• What would a mirror opposite of yourself be like?

• If money wasn’t an issue, where would you live?

• What is your dream job?

• Are you more introverted or extroverted?

• What hobbies do you have?

• What’s your favorite meal?

• Where did you grow up?

• What was your favorite subject in school? Why?

• Do you think it’s better to ask for permission or forgiveness?

• Would you rather live in the suburbs or in the city? Why?

• What is your favorite childhood memory?

• If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

• What annoys you the most about other people?

• Are you usually early or usually late?

• What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

• How do you unwind after a stressful day?

• How do you deal with people in your life you don’t like?

• How close are you to your family?

• Are you religious?

• Who is the most important person in your life?

• How many children would you like to have? Boys or girls?

• What are you most insecure about?

• What are your highest moral values?

• What do you think a wasted life looks like?

• Who or what has been the biggest influence on you?

• What would you do if you had only one year left to live?

• Have you ever given to any charities? Which ones?

• What is your earliest memory?

• Do you make decisions with your heart or your head?

• What is the one secret you haven’t told anyone else before?

• Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

• Who inspires you?

Relationship Goals..

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• Trust is vital That means you don’t care when his phone goes off or he comes home a bit late. You don’t just to crazy conclusions when he doesn’t call you exactly the minute he said he would.

• Matching morals are required. You simply can’t have a good relationship (for very long, at least) without having the same morals.

• If one of you values mainly money and materialistic objects and the other values learning and exploration over money, you will have problems.

• Even if you have other things in common, it just won’t work unless your values match up.

• If you want to grow old in a very hot climate and you’re not really the type to go outdoors and exercise much but you’re with someone who is the complete opposite of that, it will be very hard to make the relationship work.

• Wanting The Same Things In Terms Of Family For Your Futures
  These are relationship goals. When you both want the same types of families and futures together, it just works.

• Being Each Other’s Strongest Support Systems :

• We all need great support. If you can’t count on each other to root and cheer when you’re trying to accomplish something, your relationship will be very hard to deal with.

• You both need to always support each other and be each other’s biggest cheerleaders! This really only matters if you both like traveling.

• If you do, this is definitely a relationship goal. Being so in sync that you can travel anywhere in the world and still be happy together is major.

• Experiencing New Cultures Together, This has a lot to do with traveling the world but you can experience new cultures from home too.

• The food you eat and just being adventurous when meeting and talking with new people does a lot for this. Being open to learning is what will strengthen your bond.

• Feeling as though you’re part of his family is what tells you that you’ve made it; your relationship is as good as it will get.

• Going To Each Other For Advice About Your Problems, You can’t build a life with a man if you don’t even want him to have input on your life and decisions – and especially your problems.

• You should trust their judgment above others and want to ask them for help.

• Being Best Friends, Your significant other should be your best friend.
• You should want to be with him and genuinely enjoy his company. 

• This is another no-brainer when it comes to relationships that many don’t actually look for.

• Laughing So Hard You Can’t Breathe, If you want to enjoy a life full of happiness, this should be one of your main relationship goal.

• Going To Amusement Parks For The Whole Day, This is all about being able to have fun doing something interesting together.

• An amusement park puts you front and center when it comes to fear, excitement, adrenaline, and, let’s be real, a bucketful of fried junk food.

• Making Pillow Forts And Watching Movies For The Weekend
  Who doesn’t want to relive childhood and lose themselves with their best friends for a whole weekend.

• This is definitely a relationship goal and you should always work to keep your childhood alive.

• Talking Through Arguments To Solve Them, This isn’t about yelling or fighting. You can’t scream at each other and expect your relationship to last.

• All couples fight. Being able to discuss the issues at hand and actually solve them together is so important.

• Ignoring Negative Outside Influences On Your Relationship
  There will always be people or other influences trying to pull you apart.

How To Forget Someone You Love Deeply!

Accept What Happened but Don't Dwell on it : 

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It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it’s a third party issue. And you’d probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you’d only stress yourself and you’d only make your world smaller.

You have to accept that the relationship is over and don’t even try to pick up the pieces because you’d only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step.

Once you’ve accepted it, don’t dwell on it. Don’t over-think and over-analyze things. Don’t dwell on the “what’ifs or what might have beens” in the relationship. It’s fruitless. Believe me, I’ve tried and it only made me feel worse than I have ever been.

A good way to deal with it is by journaling about your feelings. It doesn’t have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.

Let Go :

The rule of every relationship is never ever be clingy. You have to learn to let go. I know it’s not easy.

Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There’s just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility.

Well, who wouldn’t find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Of course it’s hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey.

You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn’t see your true value. It’s just not going to work.

Go Outside and Be Active :

I understand that you want to be alone and I respect that. Everyone deserves some alone time with themselves and I’m not going to deny you that opportunity. When you are alone, you can think things through but don’t overdo it.

Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members.

This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in…the world without your stupid ex…Don’t forget that you once lived without him/her so it won’t definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were… your life isn’t over now that they’re gone.

In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.

Don’t Look Back or Imagine “What If :

Once the relationship is broken, it will never be the same again no matter how hard you try to piece it back together. There is a reason why the relationship didn’t work, and it’s rare that the relationship works the second time around.

If the deal breaker was unrelated to the couple (like a job or just a minor misunderstanding), it’s possible things might work out if the situation changes.

But if you broke up because of individual differences or cheating, hon, you should think twice before getting involved with the same person again.

You need to look within yourself and be honest. If you think you can still trust the person wholeheartedly then go for it.

But you have to be careful. Seriously—if he cheated on you once he’ll cheat on you again, that’s for sure! What I’m trying to say is, it’s better if you don’t look back. Less conflict, worry-free and new possibilities for love and better life.

Science have proven that once a cheater is always a cheater so do yourself some favor and look for someone else who would see your true value…

What I’m trying to say is, it’s better if you don’t look back. You will have less inner conflict, fewer worries, and more possibilities for love and a better life.

Make New Memories :

To get your ex out of your system, you have to create new memories. If you visited some places together in the past, you need to go to a new spot that you’ve never been before.

Better yet, go to somewhere you went together but this time do it with your loved ones and friends. Eat foods you’ve never tasted before. Try a different sport.

Do something you never thought you’d do like bungee jumping, skydiving, ziplining, rock climbing, or anything else! If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you’ll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.

The Silent Treatment In A Relationship Is A Killer!

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The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn’t know why.

Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating. It’s a form of ostracism, and it can feel like a punishment and even a form of pressure to get a response to criticism or submission to a request.

If you’re on the receiving end, it’s important that you know that no one, male or female, should accept the silent treatment as an acceptable behavior. You don’t deserve it. While both parties are responsible for creating healthy communication in a relationship, no one ever deserves to be ignored, and you didn’t agree to this type of passive-aggressive communication.

The silent treatment is a common pattern of conflict for committed, romantic couples, and it can be damaging if left unaddressed. It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are constructive ways to respond and, hopefully, find a way to move forward that both of you can agree on.

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment :

Take Time to Cool Off

During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst. If you’re on the receiving end you may feel frustrated and angry, so take a cooling-off period to get a breath and calm down.

Give Your Partner Space to Think

Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You’re not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won’t learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Don’t Apologize Unless You’re Truly Sorry

Never apologize for something when you don’t believe you did. How can you have an authentic, connected relationship by being false? Instead, try to empathize with your partner by saying you understand that they’re upset or angry and that you would like to bridge the gap that has come between you.

Apologize if You’re Truly Sorry

Think about whether you really may have done or said something to hurt your partner or make them angry. Admit and acknowledge any wrongs that may have caused offense and apologize sincerely.

Ask Yourself Whether it’s Just a Personality Difference

Is your partner an introvert while you are more of an extrovert? Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they’ve been attacked or insulted in some way.

If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you’ll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you’ll be back after the time is up to talk. Of course it’s best if they agree to this plan.

Set Rules for Healthy Communication

When communication is difficult it can help to create some rules. Give your partner (and yourself) permission to calm down.

Sometimes when we feel waves of anxiety, panic, or rage, our bodies become saturated with adrenaline. This is called “flooding,” and it happens when intense feelings, thoughts, or sensations are just too much to integrate in the moment.

In a conflict, when one person gets flooded, they usually choose either fight of flight,” says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a marriage counselor in Boulder, CO. “In this case, flight would the silent treatment or stonewalling. Regular stonewalling is toxic to a healthy relationship.”

Fisher recommends that couples recognize that one or both partner is flooded and then separate for a period of time to calm down. Then they should come back together at an agreed-upon time when they are relaxed to talk through the conflict.

What should I do when my boyfriend is in contact with his ex?

 

Address the Situation Openly..

Don’t hide the fact that you’re bothered or insecure. This doesn’t mean that you should blame your boyfriend for feelings of jealousy that you might have. This simply means that you should acknowledge them.

Communicate your fears to your boyfriend. If he doesn’t seem to care or acts really defensive about it, then maybe you should press him for more details.

Figure Out Why He Is Talking to His Ex..

Some people can genuinely be “just friends” . Maybe they started dating, realized their feelings were mostly platonic, and decided to remain friends.

This is the ideal situation if your boyfriend is still talking to his ex: they are basically close friends who have no romantic feelings whatsoever. There’s little to be jealous about if their relationship was short-lived and not very fiery. Even better, if your boyfriend’s ex turned out to be gay (or straight, if you’re gay) and that’s why their relationship ended, then there’s not as much of a chance that something inappropriate is happening between them. (Granted, it could still happen.)

On the other hand, there’s more reason to be suspicious if there’s no conceivable reason that they’re still talking. For example, let’s say that your boyfriend and his ex had a purely physical relationship and went through an explosive breakup. Furthermore, they were never very good friends in the first place. Why would they still be talking?

Consider How Long Your Boyfriend and His Ex Have Been Apart..

Did they break up like a million years ago, before you even met each other? In that case, maybe the fire between them has cooled off enough that they can legitimately be friends without any drama.

On the other, hand, did they break up just last month? Did they break up because of you?

If it’s only been a few weeks and your boyfriend is already talking to his ex, this might be something that you’ll want to calmly address with him.

Take Some Time to Think (and Cool Down)..

Even if you find information that you don’t like while probing your boyfriend about the situation, take some time to be by yourself and think about what’s going on. Before you react, reflect on what your rational response should be.

Remember that if your reaction is based on insecurity, you may do irreparable damage to your relationship. You might unwittingly send the message to your boyfriend that you don’t trust him. How will he react to that? Is he really doing anything wrong? Think carefully about what you’ve learned and the best way to proceed.

Obviously, if you’ve discovered that your boyfriend is sending naked pictures to his ex or something like that, there’s less to think about. In unambiguous situations like those, you might just want to kick the guy to the curb.

Ask to Meet His Ex..

If his ex really is just a friend, your boyfriend should have no problem introducing you. Sure, it’s normal for him to feel a bit awkward bringing a current and past flame together, but it should be doable.

However, if he is still seeing his ex in secret, he’ll probably feel too guilty to introduce you or allow you to hang out together. He’ll probably be nervous that you’ll discover his two-timing ways.

If you do meet his ex, pay attention to how she (or he) acts. Does she seem nervous around you? Does she give you smug looks? Is she really touchy-feely with your boyfriend? If so, then you might have a problem. Even if there’s nothing between them, she may be trying to rekindle something.

After meeting his ex, if you can tell that she definitely still carries a torch for him, advise your boyfriend of this. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of his talking to someone who clearly still wants him, don’t be afraid to let him know.

Signs Your Man Isn’t Over His Ex..

He talks about her all the time. If your boyfriend keeps bringing up his ex, that could be a sign, he still has feelings for them. Even if he’s mad at his ex and complains, the fact that they’re on his mind is a red flag.

He’s active in his ex’s social media..

If you’re over somebody, you don’t like everything they post. It’s another sign that the ex is on his mind.

He uses his ex’s name by mistake. Ouch! If he calls you by his ex’s name once, maybe let it slide. If it happens again, time to wonder if he hasn’t moved on.

He compares you to his ex. That’s just rude. And also a sign he’s still into his ex.

He won’t introduce you to friends he has in common with his ex. If he won’t introduce you to friends who know his ex, it may be because he doesn’t want the old relationship to be over.

Tricks to Help You Strike Up a Conversation With That Cute Guy!

DON’T FREAK OUT—HE IS JUST ANOTHER PERSON.

attraction

 Stop putting pressure on yourself to create the perfect conversation starter and just introduce yourself. Who knows, he might lead the conversation after all. Sure, we can compile a list and play out in our minds how we see conversation flowing. But maybe he wanted to talk to you first, and will get (and keep) the conversation going.

EVERYONE LOVES FOOD.

“Any idea where I can find some good sushi here?” is always a great intro. When is it ever bad to discuss where you can find the best meals in your city? Food is a great topic because we all eat! Don’t be afraid to throw out your own recommendations for your favorite (and bonafide best) Thai place in exchange.

EVERYONE LOVES A DEAL.

Talk about the best deal you have gotten lately. How fun is it to talk about scoring something on the cheap? Not only that, but it could be an opportunity to ask about their interests. If he spends money on it, it must be something he finds worthy (or worth it.) Even talk about things you recently saw on Groupon or LivingSocial. Everyone loves a deal.

GO AHEAD AND TALK TECH.

Does he have his iPhone on his lap? You best believe he has some apps on there. Talking technology is totally within limits, seeing as our phones are always out (or in-hand). Ask him for some suggestions. “I’m looking for some new apps, which ones do you like?” And you probably have a few to share too.

DON’T OVERTHINK IT.

Etiquette expert Emily Post said, “Ideal conversation is an exchange of thought, not an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.” And so often we feel pressure to say the wittiest thing that it halts us from saying anything at all. Don’t be afraid to ask questions you feel like you should know the answer to or enjoy a completely unoriginal exchange of pleasantries. Who knows where it might lead!

BE A LITTLE VULNERABLE.

Show up to a party and realize you recognize absolutely no one? Or you may even genuinely have a bit of social anxiety, holding you back from engaging in conversation. Rather than sulk by the buffet, use your discomfort as an opening line by saying, “I wasn’t sure if I would come tonight, but I am glad I did!” That will engage your party to open up and talk about how they got invited or how they know the host. Why not be honest?

RUMINATE A LITTLE.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” Eleanor must be turning in her grave with how much we discuss current events and pop culture. Don’t be afraid to skip the go-to”Is it just me or is it really crowded in here? ” and ask them what they think about: the speaker, the concert, something that was trending on your Facebook newsfeed, etc. You have a great mind, so discuss ideas! Even better, the ideas of others. Listened to a great podcast? Relay what you heard. Curious about REM sleep? Fill him in on the latest sleep study you read. Not only can you dive into ideas you’ve been processing, but you can also ask him if he’s been intrigued by anything lately.

TALK MUSIC.

So if his headphones are in, he might not be in the mood to talk. But if he takes them out, ask him what he’s listening to. You may have struck gold with a music buff. Maybe you saw his screen when he was flipping through songs—it doesn’t hurt to say, “I love that band!” or “I saw you were listening to Coldplay; have you heard their new single?” Inputting your own music taste might be an awesome way to make a connection.

LOOK FOR MORE THAN A “YES” OR “NO.”

According to Chris Colin and Rob Baedecker, authors of What To Talk About, focus on asking open-ended questions that will hopefully avoid a one-word answer. Some examples: “If you could teleport by blinking your eyes, where would you go right now?” Or “What are you looking forward to this week?”

How Many Dates Before A Relationship!

We’ve all heard those adorable stories about our grandparents meeting on a train and falling madly in love at first sight. How many dates before relationship was a question they never really considered.

 Nowadays, dating is more difficult. We simply have many more choices when it comes to love and everything else, and we’re used to processing a ton of information on a daily basis. That’s why even dating has become complicated.

We don’t want to rush into something fast and then realize there was a better option on the table. But then we risk losing a cool ​guy because we waited too long to commit.

It seems like dating has turned into a game we can’t win. Sometimes we can’t even tell if a guy likes us or not.

Of course, one of the trickiest things is picking the right moment to have “the talk.” This leaves us with the key question: How many dates before a relationship?

If you were expecting me to give you a magic number, some universal answer that works every time, you can stop reading right now.
I can’t give you a magic number because it doesn’t exist.

The reason is simple, every person on the planet is different, and so is every couple. Two people can fall in love on the first date, or they can develop chemistry over time and decide they want to be a couple after 10 dates. There are no rules.

But, don’t lose hope yet. We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have some tips on how to calculate your own personal magic number to decide how many dates before a relationship.

Questions To Ask Yourself
Before you even consider anything else, you need to sit down and have a talk with yourself. There are three questions you need to answer.

1. Are You Ready For A Relationship?

The first thing you need to figure out is whether or not you’re ready for a relationship. Maybe you’re still hurting from your previous relationship, or you’re swamped with work at the moment and wouldn’t have time to commit fully.

Ask yourself this question and follow your heart. There’s nothing wrong with being single for a while if you come to the ​conclusion that you’re still not ready.

2. How Well Do You Know Him?

Don’t rush into anything before you ask yourself how well you know this guy. Otherwise, you might idealize him, think you’re falling in love and get serious with someone you don’t even know.

Sooner or later you might realize he’s not the person you imagined him to be and get disappointed.

3. Do You See A Future?
The initial infatuation may blind you for a while. This guy is attractive, charismatic and fun and you love hanging out with him. And before you know it, you’re in a relationship that’s going nowhere.

Even though he may be fun, ask yourself if there’s a future for you two.
How To Know If He’s A Keeper
Once you’ve figured out what you want, you need to figure out what he wants. Is he ready to commit to you and start a relationship? Here are some signs you need to pay attention to.

He’s Interested In Your Life.
When you get together, he takes an active interest in your life. He asks you about your day, listens when you talk and offers his honest opinion or advice if you’re going through something tough.

He Stays In Touch Between Dates
After a date, he doesn’t wait a week to text or call you.

He doesn’t just contact you when he wants to see you, but also checks in every few days to see what you’re up to.

He Wants To Go Out On Dates.
If he’s only interested in sex, you’ll quickly realize it. He will avoid going out in public with you and only want to hang out at his place or yours.
But if he wants a relationship, he will want to take you out on dates and never pressure you into having sex when you’re not into it.

He Introduces You To His Friends.
If this guy wants you to meet his friends, it’s almost a sure signal he wants a relationship with you.

Guys value their friends’ opinions just like we do, so if he’s trying to get you to hang out with his crew, he’s serious about you.

He Asks About Your Opinion.
You can bet he really likes you when he’s asking for your opinion.

Whether it’s about buying a new pair of sneakers or making an important career decision, a guy who’s ready to be your boyfriend always wants to hear what you think.

He Brings Up Relationship Talk.
He brings up relationships first? You’re in luck because this is a proven sign he wants to commit to you and he’s testing the waters.

When he brings it up, make sure you give him the right feedback. If you want a relationship too, now is the time to say it.

Why Do Men Give Silent Treatment After A Break-Up..

You never thought it would come to this, but the worst has happened. You and your boyfriend broke up. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you’re left wondering why men give silent treatment after a breakup. I mean, is it really so necessary?

Even though you left things on friendly terms and you agreed to stay in touch, your ex is nowhere to be found. You’ve tried to contact him, you’ve called and sent a couple of texts to see how’s doing but all you got in return was radio silence.

After a few weeks, it’s clear to see that your ex is giving you the silent treatment. But why is he doing it? After all, you said you’d try to stay friends.

Understanding men is never easy but there several reasons why men give silent treatment after a breakup. Here’s what could be going on in his head.

In this situation, your mind will start running wild. You’ll probably even get to the point where you think that he never even cared about you. You are hurt and confused and you miss him, so how can he be so heartless to ignore your texts and calls?

Well, one of the most common scenarios is that this is just his way of dealing with the breakup. It doesn’t mean he’s indifferent; just the opposite. He is just as hurt as you, but he needs time and space to get over the breakup. Maybe you’re ready to be friends, but he’s not.

In this case, try to respect his pain and give him the space he needs. After some time, if he still wants you in his life, he’ll reach out to you.
He’s Too Proud To Admit He Misses You.

Some men never let their feelings rule them and they would never swallow their pride and show vulnerability. If this sounds like your ex, then he may just be too proud to admit he misses you.

This is more likely if you broke up with him. You already hurt his pride regardless of why you did it and he probably agreed to stay friends just to save face.

Once the dust settled, he realized that he needed to keep his distance from you so he wouldn’t cave and tell you how much he misses you. He still cares, but his attitude probably won’t change soon.

If you want to stay in touch with this kind of man, you’ll have to give him plenty of time. This is where the no contact rule can be very helpful.
He’s Taking Revenge.

If you were the one who messed up or broke up, he could be giving you silent treatment to get back at you. And the more you messed up, the bigger the chance this is exactly what’s going on right now.

Your course of action depends on whether or not you want to make up.
If you regret your mistake and want to give your relationship a second chance, you’ll need to have a game plan to apologize and show him how much you actually care about him.

But if you’re the one who initiated the breakup and you have no intention of getting back together, maybe it’s time to let it go. Insisting on a friendship is selfish and will only hurt him more.

He Doesn’t Want To Get Your Hopes Up.

He may look like a monster in your eyes for suddenly giving you silent treatment after all those happy moments you shared, but he might actually be doing it for your own good.

As long as you still have feelings for him and you stay in touch, there is that slight glimmer of hope that you’ll somehow end up together again. He wants to eliminate that hope but not because he’s a bad person but because he cares about you and doesn’t want to hurt you.

You Found Something On His Phone. Now What?

Was The Snooping Worth It?

First and foremost, no matter his transgression… you have to realize you just committed a serious breach of trust.

There might have been a doubt in your mind that he’s cheating, or that something’s wrong.

But the moment you decided to go through his phone, you lost the right to take the high ground in the incoming conflict.

Even if you are the most loyal girlfriend in the world, your phone is still your most personal possession.

Just one swipe of the thumb gives you access to a person’s Instagram, messenger, gallery, calendar, and any bit of information they might want to keep private.

Imagine if someone had done that to you – not cool, right?
Which is why you must understand that he WILL get defensive, and for good reason.

Consult With Yourself First 

So, before you react, take a few minutes to think, or even sleep on it.

Go through whatever you are feeling and really think about the whole situation.

Are the texts or DMs you found outright showing he’s cheating on you? Or are you just projecting your fears and insecurities onto actually harmless texts?

Being reactive after finding something incriminating can cause you a lot of trouble.

Instead, reflect on what you found, and – without any more snooping – use that information to understand his suspicious behavior.

Ask Yourself The Following:

How long you two have been dating? Are you exclusive, or are you allowed to be available to others?

Is the other woman in question someone you know or not? As this can factor in your decision on how to approach the problem.

Has he been avoiding contact lately and could this be why?

In what way can you approach the problem without him storming out in a rage?

Is this something that can potentially ruin your relationship?

Is your relationship something you even want to save?

Don’t be afraid of these questions, nor the answers.

They’re your only anchors now as you plan the “confrontation.”

And they will help you decide what to do next.

Approach Carefully

When you decide to talk to your boyfriend, be careful how you’re going to start.

Even if he turned out to be the sleaziest guy in the world.

Why should he get the satisfaction of seeing you all riled up? What’s worse, you’ll turn out to be a psycho that went through his phone over nothing.

Remember: “I went through my boyfriends phone and found something.”
You’re that girl.

Approach carefully.

Don’t Be Quick To Judge
Start by telling him about the thoughts you’ve been having.

Mention the doubts you’ve had, the changes in his behavior, every possible reason you had to invade his privacy.

He’s going to have his own leverage in this confrontation as well – after all, you did invade his privacy, and openly showed your distrust.

Because no matter his mistake, you’re the one who decided to take a bad shortcut and now you’ll have to deal with more than what you found on his phone.

Luckily, it’s easier to apologize than you thought.

Ask him about what you found on his phone and then let him explain himself.

The chances of him cooking up a storm are slim to none if he sees how calm you are.

No matter how hard it is, don’t lose your cool.

Even if you want to yell at him and storm out, don’t, or you’ll regret it.

More often than not, these things are inflated by our own insecurities and egos.

It’s like he was exchanging a few words with a girl in a bar while you were in the bathroom.

It’s harmless, means nothing, and your reaction to the exchange shows how much you trust him and how safe you feel in your own skin.

Discuss your own feelings and interpretation as much as the content on the phone.

It will lead to a more productive solution for the both of you.

You Always Have A Choice
Staying together is as viable as breaking up.

He could want to break up because those photos or texts were meaningless after all, and he could now see you as a paranoid, jealous girlfriend.

What Can You Take From This?

Finding out the man you love is doing something behind your back is one of the worst scenarios in a relationship.

But there are ways to tackle the issue with grace and dignity.

As I mentioned, the first step is to have a conversation with yourself, to see what you feel.

Then approach your boyfriend and address the things you found on his phone.

Be aware that you violated his trust and have a good reason why you went through his phone in the first place.

Lastly, if possible, make a choice together on what to do from that moment on.